The Wrong Side of the Clouds

The past is gone, forever.

2010-11-03T12:16:00.002-05:00

As much as we all carry around yesterday, we can never ever take it back. Never ever change one thing about it other than how we choose to react and move on from it. Sometimes we waste years and years of our tomorrows dwelling on all the negative that yesterday's permanence holds.

This isn't only true for things we've done to others but the things that others have done to us. No matter how much we wish we could go back and change decisions or choices, there are others who wish they could as well. It's utterly important to remember that everything we did or can do has already been forgiven and paid for on the cross. Christ knew we would do all those things and others would do those things to us and He provided a loving sacrifice to cover those hurts so we wouldn't have to suffer them ourselves. If we choose to dwell on them, we are choosing to disregard His offering of hope for a better life and choose the bitter life, instead.

Are we going to remember? Of course...but we mustn't get caught there.

Welcome back, BeccA!

2010-08-17T10:08:00.006-05:00

Please accept my apologies for not posting here in almost a year. One might be inclined to think I haven't had anything to say in this time but its not true. I plan to start blogging here more and more. No holds barred. It's me, uncut.

"What IS going on with me these days?" you ask. There are many aspects of what is going on with me. Work, personal, family, physical, spiritual. Here we go...

Work: I'm still working full time at the same place, 12 years now. I'm about 3 months away from my 2 year anniversary of employment at my second job; glad to be reporting I now have 1 dedicated shift per 2 week pay period. I'd like more, will keep holing out for that and filling in for other people in the meantime. I now sell Miche Bags! Please inquire, lots to say there.

Personal: Sigh. It's still just me. I'm resting in the knowledge that I'm happier alone than with someone I'm not supposed to be with. Temptation is all around and it's been quite a while since I've experienced the full sensations of lustful sin. Sometimes I feel especially vulnerable but I will NOT compromise and give in to my flesh for a moment of faux pleasure. I've learned from my checkered past, I know it will not satisfy what I really desire.

Family: My mom has lived with me the past 3 years and is now moving into her own place. I'm so happy for her to be taking back the reigns of her own life! She has gone through so much over the years and overcome many painful obstacles. It's about time for her to enjoy living!

Physical: The past couple of months I have been diagnosed with high cholesterol & gallstones. WAKE UP CALL, RIIIIINNNNG! Ok. Sometimes it takes reality to slap you in the face before you can kick that rebellion to the curb. The truth is, every time I open my mouth to eat or drink, I've just made a decision about what to put in and I am in control of it. It was like all of a sudden, my eyes were open and I could see me inside myself. I am wearing a fat body to shield and guard my heart. It's like a lead suit that someone is holding a gun to my head and forcing me to wear. Then I realized, I'm the one holding the loaded gun on myself! Only I can change what goes in my body, so I did. Just like that, bye-bye bad fats! The gallbladder surgeon said I should also be eating a diabetic diet. Still learning about that one. So far, I feel amazing! For anyone suffering inside a painful fat body, please consider that you are the only one who can get you out of it! You don't have to lose a million pounds...even 10 or 20 will get you feeling better and more able to go through your day. I was miserable! Today I feel great and I know it will only get better and better from here!

Spiritual: I am blessed! Right now I am in a bible study facilitated by my mom. It's by Nancy Leigh DeMoss called A Quiet Place of Rest. It's all about the importance of having a devotional life. It's gooooood!!! I will use other posts to highlight some of the good bits I've found in the study. Churchlife is iffy. My church is going through some pains right now, please keep us in your prayers. Sin has a terrible effect on the lives of believers and this is no exception. The only thing I have to say is, I am resting in the fact that God has a plan and He already knows the outcome. I have to trust that there is divine meaning in whatever that outcome will be and continue to have faith that anything that comes (good/bad/ugly) will be driven by His will to guide me to the next steps on my journey. And that goes for everyone involved. Keep us in your prayers!!

So that about sums things up for now. I am planning more posts soon, so stay tuned. :)

Calgon, take me ..... to Walgreens!

2009-10-28T14:05:00.001-05:00

So, I just discovered a PATCH of silver in my hair! Metallic, glistening, silver shining proudly there amongst it's brunette neighbors. My mind cries out, "There goes the neighborhood!"

Guess I'm gonna have to find a better dye. I feel I'm going gray before my time, perhaps my momma and grandma had a day like today at some point in their lives. How could this be happening already? Where did the time go? Don't I still have a ton of life left to live?

Of course, this comes on the eve of my 36th birthday. I shall face this head on (pun intended). I can use my resources to stave off some of the visual affects of getting old in some simple ways-for as long as I can. At some point though, gray hair or not, I will have to come to terms and embrace what this season brings to my life, emotionally and spiritually. It reminds me that this world is not my home! Soon this tent will be decaying in a grave somewhere and then...for all of eternity, I will enjoy what is promised to me from before the foundations of the earth were laid! No more pain, no more sorrow, no more strife. Forever in paradise with God and Jesus and everyone else that has accepted His sacrifice and taken His name onto their earthly lives as the only acceptable payment for the debt they owe.

Time is speeding by. The window of opportunity is quickly closing. If only I could bring everyone I love along! Unfortunately, that is not to my decisions. So I do the only things I can. I can pray for them and I can show, through my life's witness, that God is a Holy and forgiving and loving Father who created us knowing we would fail Him! He loved us enough to provide a lamb because our tainted blood could never be "good" enough.

Praise the Lord!

Bible study notes: Running nowhere in every direction - Week 2

2009-07-30T00:04:00.003-05:00

Week 1 is always the introduction and rules and such, so there's not much insight to glean. Each week we will have 2 lessons to do homework on.

The first lesson is on 'My schedule'. Boy do I have some changes to make! I need to find a better balance between working and home and all these other things that pulls me and my time away from what I want to and need to be doing with my life. It's stressful to be constantly in the beginning of everything! I feel like all these things I've always wanted to do and be are still waiting for me to start achieving. Life just gets in the way...So I need to find a balance and contentment on that journey.

The second lesson this week is on 'Expectations'. Now this is a great topic for me! Over the past few years, I have learned alot about unfulfilled expectations. There are alot of people in our lives who have certain expectations of us, including ourselves. One of the stories we studied was Mary and Martha from Luke 10. Martha had expectations of herself for all she had to get done and she certainly had expectations for what she thought Mary should be doing to help her get everything done! When she brought it up, Jesus said, on the contrary! Mary's got it right, being here with me. When you pair up the Proverbs 31 woman with this story, it seems like a contradiction but think of it like this: It's wonderful to be great at home and work and parenting...but your relationship with God is more important than all of it! Because without it, we will fail miserably :)

Parents, be careful with how many expectations you put on the kiddos. They need to do their activities out of fun and fellowship purposes...not because they are afraid to disappoint their parents and potentially lose their affection.

I've said this before and I'm sure I'll say it again. If you are living in a sad and disappointed hole because of the way your life has turned out vs. the way you expected it to when you were young....you have to find a way to mourn the loss of those ideas about the way life was 'supposed to be'. Only when you find ways to mourn it and get past it, will you be available to dream new dreams for yourself! Don't waste your life dwelling on what could have been. It's upsetting enough that those things are going unfulfilled, don't let years pass by with more and more unfulfillment piling up!

Finally, we read from 'The Message', Matthew 11:28-30:

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me-watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythm of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.

I ended my study tonight with a simple prayer that I'd love to share with you. 'Jesus, teach me to rest! To put away the burdens of this life and find you where you wait for me, the flowing refreshing currant of your river of grace! It's a happy place to arrive!'

Guilty as charged: neglect in the 1st degree

2009-07-15T14:10:00.011-05:00

Wow. I have severely neglected this blog. This blog is my blog, my personal thoughts and life blog. You won't find any advertisements. There will be no discussing of what's going on in the news unless I am directly affected. This is the place where I can come and be me. I want to use this space on the net to express myself in the most honest way I can, to feel free to say what I want and need to say! I'm a bit disappointed that I have not utilized this platform more. Well, things they are a'changing!

There has been so much going on the past few months, crazy busy schedules and events pulling me to and fro. Momma was in the hospital. I will write more on that in another post. I haven't been to church for a Sunday morning service in 2 months or more; this does not make me happy. It only adds to my stress because I feel less 'in touch' that I feel when I am around my church family and fellowshipping and singing out loud some praises. Not lost at all, just not in my favorite comfort zone. And with me, when my spiritual life is feeling off, it directly affects all other aspects of my life.

In future posts, I plan to write about alot of things that have been going on lately. Here's a list of topics to watch out for:

Reuniting with old friends through Facebook
Momma being in the hospital
My friend Jen's illnesses
My new/old relationship with a friend, Kim
My special friendship with Jenn (different one, pay attention to spelling or you will get confused LOL)
My continued haunting/mourning of an unrequited 'love' and what I've learned from the experience
A new friend, Darlene
Taking pictures while driving
Taking notes while driving (do you see a trend starting?)
Upcoming bible study: Running nowhere in every direction
A revelation about being crucified with Christ daily
My OCD issues
Free will is very expensive
There's more to losing weight than just weight loss
A new perspective on the oldest thorn, the sin nature
Finances
Sitcoms are my never ending books, that's not good
Annoyed with being ignored-no call backs, no re-emails

These are just a few of the things floating around in my head that I want to blog here about. The list will grow as things come to mind. Please come back to visit, please comment, let me know you are alive and reading this and want to interact with me. Thanks for reading today, have a great afternoon!

Cup of tea

2009-02-18T14:42:00.004-06:00

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident.

Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water.
After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know... :)

'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?'

This story was emailed to me by a friend. Too funny!

A quote for the day...

2009-02-05T17:55:00.002-06:00

"The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him." -G.K. Chesterton

And learning as I go...

2009-02-04T14:15:00.004-06:00

The truth is true, even if no one believes it.
False remains false, even if everyone believes it.

Welcome 2009

2009-01-08T17:07:00.004-06:00

Hi there, it's been a while since I've posted. Plenty of things are in the works over here and I need to play some catch up. I do plan to post photos and stories of my December 08 trip to Maryland and Washington DC soon, so be looking for that.

Mostly, I've been contemplating the rebuild of my life with a new focus, me! It's funny what getting older can do to you. I woke up one day and said, "I'm 35." I'm not living the life I imagined I would and I am not living a fulfilled life. I've been floating along life's lazy river bumping into things as they came along. It's time for me to live with determination, to get up and active, moving where the mighty guiding hand of God leads me. It's time for me to be intentional instead of incidental.

So you can expect me to discuss current projects and progress as I go along.

Kitchen construction has now moved into kitchen clean up and reorganization. I've only just begun to get the kitchen in working order and so far, I am loving it! My Ikea shopping spree has paid off. More on that spree in my trip post :) Tonight I plan to make fajitas because I realized that there are a high number of dishes that I enjoy eating and could make....but never have! What is up with that??? Oh, I love Trader Joe's too, by the way. Made me some home made pizza last week that was so good with pizza dough and other ingredients I got there.

Things are going well at church. There is a group of ladies that is interested in getting together once a month (or more?) and scrapbooking. I'm very much looking forward to that. I think I'm going to start pushing myself to get up and get into Sunday School class on Sunday mornings. I'm pretty sure I'll enjoy the choice, now we just have to convince my body to get up earlier!

I'm going to attend a Crown Financial Ministries seminar next week called 'Journey to Financial Freedom' and I am stoked! I know it's possible and right now I feel very much like I'm drowning in my finances. I also feel like it's unnecessary! So now I need to learn what to do about it. Not only for myself, but I am instructed in the word of God to honor Him with the way I handle the money He supplies me. It's all His, technically!! Additionally, I'd love to volunteer to help other people through the Crown F.M. system and this is step #1 towards that too. You should consider attending, I spoke to the man in charge at the church where it's being held and he informed me there is still plenty of room for people to register.

I'm going to attend a showing of 'Orgasmic Birth' as a fund raising event for the 'Free the Midwives' organization. Midwifery is currently illegal in the state of Missouri and there are people who would love to get some changes started there. The proceeds go directly to the legal fees involved. I'm also excited to discover alternative ways to experience birth. I've always enjoyed a fascination with all things birth and I am learning that it doesn't have to be a terrible, painful, dreadful, terrifying and scary screaming experience like Hollywood and modern medicine tries to portray. Birth is a continuation of the sensual sexual experience and can be, apparently, orgasmically enjoyable! I only hope some day I get the chance to find out for myself. So that will be fun, let me know if you'd like to come along, it's a great film, even featured on 20/20 and it's for a great cause.

I'm still enjoying shifts at my new second job. I'll have one this Friday night, overnight. So we'll see how that goes 8-)

So that's just a few things I have going on right now. I'll post about my cat, PJ's health issues in a separate post. He deserves his own spotlight.

Until then, keep me in your prayers and I will pray for you, too!

A little funny for your day...

2008-11-24T13:07:00.005-06:00

I got this in an email and thought it was entertaining enough to share. I don't vouch for the validity of the actual court case but I enjoyed the idea behind it.

FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY

In Florida, an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter & Passover holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians, Jews & observances of their holy days. The argument was it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized day.

The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, "Case dismissed."

The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your Honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter & others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur & Hanukkah. Yet my client & all other atheists have no such holidays."

The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do, counsel, your client is woefully ignorant."

The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."

The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is 'April Fools' Day. Psalm 14:1 states 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned."

35th Birthday Week

2008-11-20T17:23:00.004-06:00

Hello all! Well, this week I celebrated my 35th birthday. It was a great day, nice weather in the middle of a week of very cold weather on either side. Everyone is so nice to you when it's your birthday, why can't we treat each other this good when it's not our birthdays??

To be honest, this is a bitter sweet milestone for me. When you are young and have your whole future in front of you, it feels like you could do anything! As you get older, you begin to realize there just isn't enough resources, energy or time off of work to do all the things you want to do in life. The life you end up living is far from the life you dreamed of, more times than not.

This is especially true if you have certain plans and hopes and dreams that require participation from other people outside of yourself. You can't *make* people do what you want or feel what you need them to feel or think that they should. You simply can't *make* these dreams into reality. People will always disappoint you in one way or another. The Lord is the only true rock to depend on. He will never leave nor forsake us. Things, life on the other hand, just doesn't always turn out like you thought it would, leaving you in a state of grief over your losses. There's nothing wrong with this mourning. In fact, I would argue that it's a necessary step in the process. If you don't take the time to mourn those losses and unfulfilled dreams, you will spend years waiting for them to happen when you could have moved on to dream new dreams! But you can't dream new dreams until your old dreams are in the past.

I will never be a young bride. My wedding photos, if I even have any, will all be of me in my mid to late 30's, wrinkles and all.

I will never be a young mom. My dreams of being young and spry with little ones under foot will never come to fruition. I may still have children either from me or by adoption but I will always be atleast 36 years older than them. I will never have the energy of a 20 something woman to keep up with their energetic needs.

I will never fly in outer space.
I will never be a filmmaker in Hollywood.
I will never be a professional photographer.
I will never be a chef.
I will never be a teacher.
I may never be wife or a mother.

So what then? Shall I lay down and sob for the rest of my days? No way!!!!! There are plenty of satisfying things I can do with my days here. This world is not my home anyway. I can get busy for the Lord and seek what He would have me to do. I enjoy so many things, I can do them and find that contentment abounds! The important thing for me to do is have a time of mourning for those old dreams and then move on to dream some new ones! For every 40 something person who wakes up and wonders where their life went and what happened to all the things they didn't do, is a 30 something person waisting their life waiting!

I'm 35. It's time for me to dream new dreams and get to it!

So much for this week...

2008-11-14T17:06:00.004-06:00

Well, I had big hopes at the beginning of the week to utilize a new writing technique in a way of being creative with my 'To do' list and actually get excited to complete tasks and mark them off the list. Then the big kitchen construction project came up and frrrt! There goes that idea!

Clustering can be used to quickly and creatively drum up writing ideas and begin to "branch" out on a given topic expanding the areas with which you can write on that topic. When you begin to try these different writing techniques, you'll find you can use the ideas for other applications. Someone suggested using clustering as a 'to do' list in lieu of a boring straight list that has a less likely chance of being returned to mid week for reference or completion.

(Be nice, I'm no artist, but that's the beauty of it!)

So here's my first one. You'll notice me in the middle, hello BeccA! Then I have a few branches that will be the standard of areas I need to focus my attentions. Starting in the upper left and continuing clockwise: Home, New Ideas, Personal Spiritual growth, Church and finally Online life. It's important to date the page giving a point of reference for later when you have more than one of these to refer to. I highlight the items I get done, this gives me a sense of accomplishment and also allows me to see what I have already finished rather than just marking through it. You can see the clustering effect in the branches from each main area, and them sometimes there are other ideas branching from those, as in the prayer list.

I love Cato!

2008-11-03T13:28:00.003-06:00

Ok, I know it's not *that* big of a deal but I went to Cato yesterday and bought 6 tops for like $18!!! Wooo hooo! Of course they are summer weight shirts but I can wear them under sweaters and jackets and be just fine. Heck, it will even be better considering how easily I get hot in layers, so it's better that the tops are thin and short sleeved or sleevless alltogether :) It's easy to get excited over a good bargain!

Oh, and I know it's because of the different styles and makers .... but it made me feel good yesterday, 2 of my tops were the next size down!!!!!!! Woo hoo!!

Feeling better now

2008-10-28T11:53:00.003-05:00

I haven't posted here in a few weeks. I was sick for about a week and a half and I'm feeling much better now. I was glad to get rid of that cold or whatever it was. I felt fine, I just was annoyed with a chunky chest and sounded horrible.

Things have been pretty much as usual for me lately. We had a Fall Family picnic and pig roast at church a couple of weekends ago, which was alot of fun. It's always nice to be sociable and fellowship.

This weekend, I enjoyed the Autumn Advance at my mom's church. Everything was beautiful and nice. I actually got to go for free because my mom's friend who bought a ticket couldn't go at the last minute and so I was able to take her place. We had the options to take 3 of the classes they offered. I chose 1. Scripture books, 2. The power of prayer & 3. Cake decorating 101. The first class making scripture books, has inspired me to a new project for the revamping of our women's ministry at my church. We have been talking about how to minister more and I think the scripture book idea is just the thing we need. You can theme the books for encouragement or love or salvation....the possibilities are endless! That way, if we send someone to visit someone in the hospital, we can leave a bit of the Lord's word in a creative and interesting way. They can take it home with them and flip through it whenever they like! Or for new visitors or whatever! I was a little let down by the second class only because the teacher spent a great deal of the time talking about the effects of prayer and not so much on skills or practical applications. Of course, this is my continued complaint with most teachings and preachings. I'm just a hands on kind of girl. Which brings me to the third class, cake decorating. Now, I already know some about it and have some supplies for doing it, I just thought why not? Besides, we got to take home the cake we decorated!!! Which I took directly to some friends of mine with 5 kids so they could enjoy and make use of it and I wouldn't be so tempted to eat it myself :)

I watched my two 'nephews' on Sat. night so my friends could enjoy a nice date night out. A rarity for them these days, I was happy to help and happy to spend some Aunt Becca time with the boys. I went for a visit with my cousin and her family on Sunday. My brother is out of town bow hunting, he's called 2 times now, he got a buck and a doe so far.

I have been way into renting movies from the Red box lately and have enjoyed the luxury of watching them in bed all curled up with my ear buds in. It's fun for me! Also, I'm in the midst of applying for a part time job being a concierge at a retirement community overnights on the weekends. I need to do something to pay off some bills and get this debt under control. My normal income just doesn't cut it anymore. I'm sure you all know exactly what I mean there.

My eating plan and bible study is still going. I don't work on my bible study as much as I'd like to...perhaps I shouldn't be watching so many movies, priorities, Becca! The eating plan is going well, this weekend I discovered I needed to switch around a couple of days and I did so without any problems. I will need to do that again for the different holidays. My only issue is staying as strict with it now as I did in the beginning. Also, getting back on track with what 1/2 really is. My halves have been too hefty lately. So, with that in mind and the fact that I now own a scale that will weigh me, as long as I lose *something* each week, I feel like I am on track. It's really more about honoring God with my eating and well, everything else too.

So that's me in a nutshell. I am so grateful for the Lord allowing me to find such a wonderful and spiritual website that offers me support and education to live my life more to the Glory of God than ever before!

A refresher course in crocheting

2008-10-09T12:02:00.000-05:00

Crocheted coaster 10/7/08

I have fond memories of my mom crocheting when I was growing up. I remember she would take it with her different places when she knew there would be down-time or if we went to the country to visit family, there she'd be with her yarn and hooks. She was always making coaster, table runners, doilies, squares for bedspreads and so on.

She taught me how to crochet when I was much younger and I remember making a few projects with spare yarn she had left over from her various projects. I've dabbled with many different crafts throughout the years. I have enjoyed embroidering, latch hook, crocheting, finger weaving, friendship bracelets, painting, old skool scrapbooking (with those big books bound with string and big black pages and scotch tape), contemporary scrapbooking (complete with top loading pages, cutting tools and tape runners), rubber stamping, card making, sewing and knitting, just to name a few. We even did those ones where you use fabric paint in different colors in a dot pattern to make pictures. Basically, if it was crafty, I enjoyed it or atleast wanted to try it!

Recently, I've been wanting to get back to some other crafts I've enjoyed in the past. I came across an old tote back from when I was a child and inside I found a group of white embroidery squares that were partially completed. So I worked on that for a while and really enjoyed it! I just need some new patterns for that. My decorating tastes have changed since then. I've also tried crewel in the past. Crewel is a mix of stitches and threads on a preprinted picture to add embellishment. I really enjoyed that type. I'm just so bad about starting something and NEVER going back to finish it! Books, crafts, cleaning and so on and so on.

I've been on my mom lately about refreshing my memory on how to crochet, so Tuesday night that's what we did. After a couple of bad starts, I finally got er' going pretty good and made a nice coaster for my desk at work (see photo above)! It didn't take long for my carpal tunnel to overtake my grip and my right hand began to go numb. Just like in knitting, I have to take frequent breaks...which allows distraction to set in and hence, I'm less likely to finish a project. However, I was happy to complete the coaster and we'll see what other crafts I can get myelf involved in. I have a sewing project for a couple a church to finish soon, it's way overdue.

Interesting blog title, where did it come from?

2008-10-07T14:59:00.004-05:00

The French Alps in route to Italy from England - Sept. 2007

I've always enjoyed flying. There's just something so special about being above the clouds looking down at the earth with awe and wonder, this is God's view! The tops of the clouds themselves are much more interesting and beautiful than the underside we can see from here.

Leonardo De Vinci once said:
"When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return."

Wow, how could he have known? It's not like they had airplanes back then! The thing is, the closer I walk with the Lord and the more I long for my real home, I know for sure, I'm living on the wrong side of the clouds! This life will be a short one full of toils and troubles, heartbreak and sorrow. Sure, there are plenty of pleasures to enjoy, for a time, but they do not satisfy my heart! I still long to be in heaven, away from this world and all it's hatred and pain. That's why I called this blog 'The Wrong Side of the Clouds'. It's about my journey from here and all that goes with it! I hope you will bookmark this page and stop in from time to time. Please comment and let me know you're there. Thanks for stopping by!

Hmm, just a tidbit.

2008-10-06T13:53:00.003-05:00

I'm really enjoying my Bible study and wanted to share this with you from today's lesson:

Finding pleasure in Christ is what The Lord's Table course is really all about. You see, many diet groups feel successful if one of their members stands up and testifies, "I have lost 30 pounds in 60 days, have gone from a size 14 to a size 8, and now everybody notices the new me." This is not success at all. Where is the mention of the heart finding repentance and forgiveness, the soul feasting on Christ, and the joy over a life that now lives to honor the Lord, rather than to gratify the flesh? This feasting and rejoicing and honoring the Lord all come from repentance. Any change apart from this will lead to pride and will-worship. "I did it, I lost weight, I overcame, I, I, I."

No, our purpose is not to exalt the will of man or woman. Our purpose is to honor the Lord, to magnify His grace, and to show the power of God in our lives. Repentance is the only way to truly be free from the power of temptation and sin, to honor the Lord with a disciplined life, and to savor the preciousness of Jesus Christ.

This is great stuff! I really feel like I have hit the jackpot with this study! I feel changed in my heart about food and eating and this is the only way to get there!

The Lord's Table - Setting Captives Free

2008-09-30T14:21:00.007-05:00

Today I'm about 2 weeks into a new eating plan and accompanying bible study. So far it has been great learning how to glorify the Lord with my eating and changing my eating has brought about changes in other areas of my life as well.

Physically: After even the first week, I felt amazing and am feeling better every day! My clothes already fit more loosely and I can move around much easier. At first, my body was not used to a smaller intake and continued to make alot of acid. It's amazing how quickly your body adapts to new habits! I watch 'The Biggest Loser' and I hear people talk about how in just a couple of weeks of eating better and getting active, they are able to come off of medications. Now I can see first hand how that could be true. I do need to increase my activity, I have the treadmill all set to get started! My goal was to get up early each day and do my bible study and then walk before getting a shower and going to work. Well, pray for me because I have a hard enough time getting up for work on time much less early!!

Spiritually: I have been pleased so far with the bible study portion which is an online course on the Setting Captives Free website. I love that this help is online and free for everyone to have access to. It is offered in many languages and in many parts of the world. They also have online courses that deal with many other issues than just overeating. There are other eating disorders, gambling, substance abuse, sexual issues as well as bible studies of other kinds and lots of resources too.

Phase 1 of the course called 'The Lord's Table' is a 60 day study. There are lessons you read and respond to for each day and they suggest you adopt 1 of the 2 suggested eating plans. Adopting the eating plan I chose was honestly very easy to do. In a 7 day week, you get (2) normal days (without overeating), (2) 1/2 days, (2) liquid days (with 1 light meal) and (1) day or really, 24 hour period of fasting. So from after dinner the night before, just water until 24 hours, then a light meal. You can arrange the days any way you need to in the week, as long as you don't put 2 of the same days in a row. I sat down with calender and arranged my days on a fixed schedule that seems to be working out great!

I was extremely worried about the first day of fasting, especially considering my overly acid-y issue of last week, but it went just fine! I used the time to take the focus off of food and direct my attention and desire toward God. It was a really great day! I'm reading a book by John Piper called A Hunger for God-Desiring God Through Fasting and Prayer. You can read it as a PDF file online if you like. So far it has been a great resource for discovering why fasting is biblical and all the ways it can benefit your life. I like this eating plan because I get something different to do every day. It keeps me on my toes and makes me feel a little different every day. The eating plan allows me to feel more intentional than 'just watching what I eat'. The only days I have to plan anything special for are the liquids days. I just need to make sure I have some broths and other acceptable liquids around me so I am not tempted to stray. You still get to eat something everyday, even 'the day of fasting' since you consider the evening before as part of the 24 hour period! It's working for me, I feel in control and more importantly, I feel like I am walking towards God and not out here on my own trying to struggle to lose the weight. God is our hope and our helper, He wants us to be healthy, He will provide strength when I need it. I will post more of my progress as I go along. I have no idea how much weight I've lost since my scale still says 'E' (which means I'm too heavy for it!) But honestly, I don't care about pounds, I don't care about inches...God will take care of all those numbers, I'm just concerned with staying on a healthy track. Once I am fully adapted to the eating plan, I will begin to incorporate more movement and exercise into my day. I'm slowly getting there, keep me in your prayers, I will keep you in mine!

Welcome to The Wrong Side of the Clouds

2008-09-30T11:56:00.004-05:00

I first had the idea for this blog when I discovered the need to journal more about my personal life both spiritually and physically. BeccA's Buzz has been a great platform for me to express certain things in my life but I feel as though it has taken on a life of it's own now. It's much more a public place than a personal space. So I created this blog where I will focus on more personal and spiritual needs as they arise. I plan for this to be a place of great personal expression, a place where I am free to say it like I see it, a place where I can praise the Lord and talk about my weight loss, sometimes in the same post! Stay for a spell if you like, leave me a comment to let me know you stopped by. My door is always open :) Welcome to The Wrong Side of the Clouds!