Guilty as charged: neglect in the 1st degree

Wow. I have severely neglected this blog. This blog is my blog, my personal thoughts and life blog. You won't find any advertisements. There will be no discussing of what's going on in the news unless I am directly affected. This is the place where I can come and be me. I want to use this space on the net to express myself in the most honest way I can, to feel free to say what I want and need to say! I'm a bit disappointed that I have not utilized this platform more. Well, things they are a'changing!

There has been so much going on the past few months, crazy busy schedules and events pulling me to and fro. Momma was in the hospital. I will write more on that in another post. I haven't been to church for a Sunday morning service in 2 months or more; this does not make me happy. It only adds to my stress because I feel less 'in touch' that I feel when I am around my church family and fellowshipping and singing out loud some praises. Not lost at all, just not in my favorite comfort zone. And with me, when my spiritual life is feeling off, it directly affects all other aspects of my life.

In future posts, I plan to write about alot of things that have been going on lately. Here's a list of topics to watch out for:

• Reuniting with old friends through Facebook
• Momma being in the hospital
• My friend Jen's illnesses
• My new/old relationship with a friend, Kim
• My special friendship with Jenn (different one, pay attention to spelling or you will get confused LOL)
• My continued haunting/mourning of an unrequited 'love' and what I've learned from the experience
• A new friend, Darlene
• Taking pictures while driving
• Taking notes while driving (do you see a trend starting?)
• Upcoming bible study: Running nowhere in every direction
• A revelation about being crucified with Christ daily
• My OCD issues
• Free will is very expensive
• There's more to losing weight than just weight loss
  
• A new perspective on the oldest thorn, the sin nature
• Finances
• Sitcoms are my never ending books, that's not good
• Annoyed with being ignored-no call backs, no re-emails

These are just a few of the things floating around in my head that I want to blog here about. The list will grow as things come to mind. Please come back to visit, please comment, let me know you are alive and reading this and want to interact with me. Thanks for reading today, have a great afternoon!

Cup of tea

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident.

Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water.
After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know... :)

'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?'

This story was emailed to me by a friend. Too funny!

A quote for the day...

"The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him." -G.K. Chesterton

And learning as I go...

The truth is true, even if no one believes it.
False remains false, even if everyone believes it.

Welcome 2009

Hi there, it's been a while since I've posted. Plenty of things are in the works over here and I need to play some catch up. I do plan to post photos and stories of my December 08 trip to Maryland and Washington DC soon, so be looking for that.

Mostly, I've been contemplating the rebuild of my life with a new focus, me! It's funny what getting older can do to you. I woke up one day and said, "I'm 35." I'm not living the life I imagined I would and I am not living a fulfilled life. I've been floating along life's lazy river bumping into things as they came along. It's time for me to live with determination, to get up and active, moving where the mighty guiding hand of God leads me. It's time for me to be intentional instead of incidental.

So you can expect me to discuss current projects and progress as I go along.

Kitchen construction has now moved into kitchen clean up and reorganization. I've only just begun to get the kitchen in working order and so far, I am loving it! My Ikea shopping spree has paid off. More on that spree in my trip post :) Tonight I plan to make fajitas because I realized that there are a high number of dishes that I enjoy eating and could make....but never have! What is up with that??? Oh, I love Trader Joe's too, by the way. Made me some home made pizza last week that was so good with pizza dough and other ingredients I got there.

Things are going well at church. There is a group of ladies that is interested in getting together once a month (or more?) and scrapbooking. I'm very much looking forward to that. I think I'm going to start pushing myself to get up and get into Sunday School class on Sunday mornings. I'm pretty sure I'll enjoy the choice, now we just have to convince my body to get up earlier!

I'm going to attend a Crown Financial Ministries seminar next week called 'Journey to Financial Freedom' and I am stoked! I know it's possible and right now I feel very much like I'm drowning in my finances. I also feel like it's unnecessary! So now I need to learn what to do about it. Not only for myself, but I am instructed in the word of God to honor Him with the way I handle the money He supplies me. It's all His, technically!! Additionally, I'd love to volunteer to help other people through the Crown F.M. system and this is step #1 towards that too. You should consider attending, I spoke to the man in charge at the church where it's being held and he informed me there is still plenty of room for people to register.

I'm going to attend a showing of 'Orgasmic Birth' as a fund raising event for the 'Free the Midwives' organization. Midwifery is currently illegal in the state of Missouri and there are people who would love to get some changes started there. The proceeds go directly to the legal fees involved. I'm also excited to discover alternative ways to experience birth. I've always enjoyed a fascination with all things birth and I am learning that it doesn't have to be a terrible, painful, dreadful, terrifying and scary screaming experience like Hollywood and modern medicine tries to portray. Birth is a continuation of the sensual sexual experience and can be, apparently, orgasmically enjoyable! I only hope some day I get the chance to find out for myself. So that will be fun, let me know if you'd like to come along, it's a great film, even featured on 20/20 and it's for a great cause.

I'm still enjoying shifts at my new second job. I'll have one this Friday night, overnight. So we'll see how that goes 8-)

So that's just a few things I have going on right now. I'll post about my cat, PJ's health issues in a separate post. He deserves his own spotlight.

Until then, keep me in your prayers and I will pray for you, too!

A little funny for your day...

I got this in an email and thought it was entertaining enough to share. I don't vouch for the validity of the actual court case but I enjoyed the idea behind it.

FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY

In Florida, an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter & Passover holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians, Jews & observances of their holy days. The argument was it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized day.

The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, "Case dismissed."

The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your Honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter & others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur & Hanukkah. Yet my client & all other atheists have no such holidays."

The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do, counsel, your client is woefully ignorant."

The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."

The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is 'April Fools' Day. Psalm 14:1 states 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned."

35th Birthday Week

Hello all! Well, this week I celebrated my 35th birthday. It was a great day, nice weather in the middle of a week of very cold weather on either side. Everyone is so nice to you when it's your birthday, why can't we treat each other this good when it's not our birthdays??

To be honest, this is a bitter sweet milestone for me. When you are young and have your whole future in front of you, it feels like you could do anything! As you get older, you begin to realize there just isn't enough resources, energy or time off of work to do all the things you want to do in life. The life you end up living is far from the life you dreamed of, more times than not.

This is especially true if you have certain plans and hopes and dreams that require participation from other people outside of yourself. You can't *make* people do what you want or feel what you need them to feel or think that they should. You simply can't *make* these dreams into reality. People will always disappoint you in one way or another. The Lord is the only true rock to depend on. He will never leave nor forsake us. Things, life on the other hand, just doesn't always turn out like you thought it would, leaving you in a state of grief over your losses. There's nothing wrong with this mourning. In fact, I would argue that it's a necessary step in the process. If you don't take the time to mourn those losses and unfulfilled dreams, you will spend years waiting for them to happen when you could have moved on to dream new dreams! But you can't dream new dreams until your old dreams are in the past.

I will never be a young bride. My wedding photos, if I even have any, will all be of me in my mid to late 30's, wrinkles and all.

I will never be a young mom. My dreams of being young and spry with little ones under foot will never come to fruition. I may still have children either from me or by adoption but I will always be atleast 36 years older than them. I will never have the energy of a 20 something woman to keep up with their energetic needs.

I will never fly in outer space.
I will never be a filmmaker in Hollywood.
I will never be a professional photographer.
I will never be a chef.
I will never be a teacher.
I may never be wife or a mother.

So what then? Shall I lay down and sob for the rest of my days? No way!!!!! There are plenty of satisfying things I can do with my days here. This world is not my home anyway. I can get busy for the Lord and seek what He would have me to do. I enjoy so many things, I can do them and find that contentment abounds! The important thing for me to do is have a time of mourning for those old dreams and then move on to dream some new ones! For every 40 something person who wakes up and wonders where their life went and what happened to all the things they didn't do, is a 30 something person waisting their life waiting!

I'm 35. It's time for me to dream new dreams and get to it!