The past is gone, forever.

As much as we all carry around yesterday, we can never ever take it back. Never ever change one thing about it other than how we choose to react and move on from it. Sometimes we waste years and years of our tomorrows dwelling on all the negative that yesterday's permanence holds.

This isn't only true for things we've done to others but the things that others have done to us. No matter how much we wish we could go back and change decisions or choices, there are others who wish they could as well. It's utterly important to remember that everything we did or can do has already been forgiven and paid for on the cross. Christ knew we would do all those things and others would do those things to us and He provided a loving sacrifice to cover those hurts so we wouldn't have to suffer them ourselves. If we choose to dwell on them, we are choosing to disregard His offering of hope for a better life and choose the bitter life, instead.

Are we going to remember? Of course...but we mustn't get caught there.

Welcome back, BeccA!

Please accept my apologies for not posting here in almost a year. One might be inclined to think I haven't had anything to say in this time but its not true. I plan to start blogging here more and more. No holds barred. It's me, uncut.

"What IS going on with me these days?" you ask. There are many aspects of what is going on with me. Work, personal, family, physical, spiritual. Here we go...

Work: I'm still working full time at the same place, 12 years now. I'm about 3 months away from my 2 year anniversary of employment at my second job; glad to be reporting I now have 1 dedicated shift per 2 week pay period. I'd like more, will keep holing out for that and filling in for other people in the meantime. I now sell Miche Bags! Please inquire, lots to say there.

Personal: Sigh. It's still just me. I'm resting in the knowledge that I'm happier alone than with someone I'm not supposed to be with. Temptation is all around and it's been quite a while since I've experienced the full sensations of lustful sin. Sometimes I feel especially vulnerable but I will NOT compromise and give in to my flesh for a moment of faux pleasure. I've learned from my checkered past, I know it will not satisfy what I really desire.

Family: My mom has lived with me the past 3 years and is now moving into her own place. I'm so happy for her to be taking back the reigns of her own life! She has gone through so much over the years and overcome many painful obstacles. It's about time for her to enjoy living!

Physical: The past couple of months I have been diagnosed with high cholesterol & gallstones. WAKE UP CALL, RIIIIINNNNG! Ok. Sometimes it takes reality to slap you in the face before you can kick that rebellion to the curb. The truth is, every time I open my mouth to eat or drink, I've just made a decision about what to put in and I am in control of it. It was like all of a sudden, my eyes were open and I could see me inside myself. I am wearing a fat body to shield and guard my heart. It's like a lead suit that someone is holding a gun to my head and forcing me to wear. Then I realized, I'm the one holding the loaded gun on myself! Only I can change what goes in my body, so I did. Just like that, bye-bye bad fats! The gallbladder surgeon said I should also be eating a diabetic diet. Still learning about that one. So far, I feel amazing! For anyone suffering inside a painful fat body, please consider that you are the only one who can get you out of it! You don't have to lose a million pounds...even 10 or 20 will get you feeling better and more able to go through your day. I was miserable! Today I feel great and I know it will only get better and better from here!

Spiritual: I am blessed! Right now I am in a bible study facilitated by my mom. It's by Nancy Leigh DeMoss called A Quiet Place of Rest. It's all about the importance of having a devotional life. It's gooooood!!! I will use other posts to highlight some of the good bits I've found in the study. Churchlife is iffy. My church is going through some pains right now, please keep us in your prayers. Sin has a terrible effect on the lives of believers and this is no exception. The only thing I have to say is, I am resting in the fact that God has a plan and He already knows the outcome. I have to trust that there is divine meaning in whatever that outcome will be and continue to have faith that anything that comes (good/bad/ugly) will be driven by His will to guide me to the next steps on my journey. And that goes for everyone involved. Keep us in your prayers!!

So that about sums things up for now. I am planning more posts soon, so stay tuned. :)