Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Calgon, take me ..... to Walgreens!

So, I just discovered a PATCH of silver in my hair! Metallic, glistening, silver shining proudly there amongst it's brunette neighbors. My mind cries out, "There goes the neighborhood!"

Guess I'm gonna have to find a better dye. I feel I'm going gray before my time, perhaps my momma and grandma had a day like today at some point in their lives. How could this be happening already? Where did the time go? Don't I still have a ton of life left to live?

Of course, this comes on the eve of my 36th birthday. I shall face this head on (pun intended). I can use my resources to stave off some of the visual affects of getting old in some simple ways-for as long as I can. At some point though, gray hair or not, I will have to come to terms and embrace what this season brings to my life, emotionally and spiritually. It reminds me that this world is not my home! Soon this tent will be decaying in a grave somewhere and then...for all of eternity, I will enjoy what is promised to me from before the foundations of the earth were laid! No more pain, no more sorrow, no more strife. Forever in paradise with God and Jesus and everyone else that has accepted His sacrifice and taken His name onto their earthly lives as the only acceptable payment for the debt they owe.

Time is speeding by. The window of opportunity is quickly closing. If only I could bring everyone I love along! Unfortunately, that is not to my decisions. So I do the only things I can. I can pray for them and I can show, through my life's witness, that God is a Holy and forgiving and loving Father who created us knowing we would fail Him! He loved us enough to provide a lamb because our tainted blood could never be "good" enough.

Praise the Lord!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Bible study notes: Running nowhere in every direction - Week 2

Week 1 is always the introduction and rules and such, so there's not much insight to glean. Each week we will have 2 lessons to do homework on.

The first lesson is on 'My schedule'. Boy do I have some changes to make! I need to find a better balance between working and home and all these other things that pulls me and my time away from what I want to and need to be doing with my life. It's stressful to be constantly in the beginning of everything! I feel like all these things I've always wanted to do and be are still waiting for me to start achieving. Life just gets in the way...So I need to find a balance and contentment on that journey.

The second lesson this week is on 'Expectations'. Now this is a great topic for me! Over the past few years, I have learned alot about unfulfilled expectations. There are alot of people in our lives who have certain expectations of us, including ourselves. One of the stories we studied was Mary and Martha from Luke 10. Martha had expectations of herself for all she had to get done and she certainly had expectations for what she thought Mary should be doing to help her get everything done! When she brought it up, Jesus said, on the contrary! Mary's got it right, being here with me. When you pair up the Proverbs 31 woman with this story, it seems like a contradiction but think of it like this: It's wonderful to be great at home and work and parenting...but your relationship with God is more important than all of it! Because without it, we will fail miserably :)

Parents, be careful with how many expectations you put on the kiddos. They need to do their activities out of fun and fellowship purposes...not because they are afraid to disappoint their parents and potentially lose their affection.

I've said this before and I'm sure I'll say it again. If you are living in a sad and disappointed hole because of the way your life has turned out vs. the way you expected it to when you were have to find a way to mourn the loss of those ideas about the way life was 'supposed to be'. Only when you find ways to mourn it and get past it, will you be available to dream new dreams for yourself! Don't waste your life dwelling on what could have been. It's upsetting enough that those things are going unfulfilled, don't let years pass by with more and more unfulfillment piling up!

Finally, we read from 'The Message', Matthew 11:28-30:
Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me-watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythm of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.
I ended my study tonight with a simple prayer that I'd love to share with you. 'Jesus, teach me to rest! To put away the burdens of this life and find you where you wait for me, the flowing refreshing currant of your river of grace! It's a happy place to arrive!'

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Guilty as charged: neglect in the 1st degree

Wow. I have severely neglected this blog. This blog is my blog, my personal thoughts and life blog. You won't find any advertisements. There will be no discussing of what's going on in the news unless I am directly affected. This is the place where I can come and be me. I want to use this space on the net to express myself in the most honest way I can, to feel free to say what I want and need to say! I'm a bit disappointed that I have not utilized this platform more. Well, things they are a'changing!

There has been so much going on the past few months, crazy busy schedules and events pulling me to and fro. Momma was in the hospital. I will write more on that in another post. I haven't been to church for a Sunday morning service in 2 months or more; this does not make me happy. It only adds to my stress because I feel less 'in touch' that I feel when I am around my church family and fellowshipping and singing out loud some praises. Not lost at all, just not in my favorite comfort zone. And with me, when my spiritual life is feeling off, it directly affects all other aspects of my life.

In future posts, I plan to write about alot of things that have been going on lately. Here's a list of topics to watch out for:
  • Reuniting with old friends through Facebook
  • Momma being in the hospital
  • My friend Jen's illnesses
  • My new/old relationship with a friend, Kim
  • My special friendship with Jenn (different one, pay attention to spelling or you will get confused LOL)
  • My continued haunting/mourning of an unrequited 'love' and what I've learned from the experience
  • A new friend, Darlene
  • Taking pictures while driving
  • Taking notes while driving (do you see a trend starting?)
  • Upcoming bible study: Running nowhere in every direction
  • A revelation about being crucified with Christ daily
  • My OCD issues
  • Free will is very expensive
  • There's more to losing weight than just weight loss
  • A new perspective on the oldest thorn, the sin nature
  • Finances
  • Sitcoms are my never ending books, that's not good
  • Annoyed with being ignored-no call backs, no re-emails
These are just a few of the things floating around in my head that I want to blog here about. The list will grow as things come to mind. Please come back to visit, please comment, let me know you are alive and reading this and want to interact with me. Thanks for reading today, have a great afternoon!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Cup of tea

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident.

Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water.
After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know... :)

'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?'

This story was emailed to me by a friend. Too funny!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

A quote for the day...

"The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him." -G.K. Chesterton

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

And learning as I go...

The truth is true, even if no one believes it.
False remains false, even if everyone believes it.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Welcome 2009

Hi there, it's been a while since I've posted. Plenty of things are in the works over here and I need to play some catch up. I do plan to post photos and stories of my December 08 trip to Maryland and Washington DC soon, so be looking for that.

Mostly, I've been contemplating the rebuild of my life with a new focus, me! It's funny what getting older can do to you. I woke up one day and said, "I'm 35." I'm not living the life I imagined I would and I am not living a fulfilled life. I've been floating along life's lazy river bumping into things as they came along. It's time for me to live with determination, to get up and active, moving where the mighty guiding hand of God leads me. It's time for me to be intentional instead of incidental.

So you can expect me to discuss current projects and progress as I go along.

Kitchen construction has now moved into kitchen clean up and reorganization. I've only just begun to get the kitchen in working order and so far, I am loving it! My Ikea shopping spree has paid off. More on that spree in my trip post :) Tonight I plan to make fajitas because I realized that there are a high number of dishes that I enjoy eating and could make....but never have! What is up with that??? Oh, I love Trader Joe's too, by the way. Made me some home made pizza last week that was so good with pizza dough and other ingredients I got there.

Things are going well at church. There is a group of ladies that is interested in getting together once a month (or more?) and scrapbooking. I'm very much looking forward to that. I think I'm going to start pushing myself to get up and get into Sunday School class on Sunday mornings. I'm pretty sure I'll enjoy the choice, now we just have to convince my body to get up earlier!

I'm going to attend a Crown Financial Ministries seminar next week called 'Journey to Financial Freedom' and I am stoked! I know it's possible and right now I feel very much like I'm drowning in my finances. I also feel like it's unnecessary! So now I need to learn what to do about it. Not only for myself, but I am instructed in the word of God to honor Him with the way I handle the money He supplies me. It's all His, technically!! Additionally, I'd love to volunteer to help other people through the Crown F.M. system and this is step #1 towards that too. You should consider attending, I spoke to the man in charge at the church where it's being held and he informed me there is still plenty of room for people to register.

I'm going to attend a showing of 'Orgasmic Birth' as a fund raising event for the 'Free the Midwives' organization. Midwifery is currently illegal in the state of Missouri and there are people who would love to get some changes started there. The proceeds go directly to the legal fees involved. I'm also excited to discover alternative ways to experience birth. I've always enjoyed a fascination with all things birth and I am learning that it doesn't have to be a terrible, painful, dreadful, terrifying and scary screaming experience like Hollywood and modern medicine tries to portray. Birth is a continuation of the sensual sexual experience and can be, apparently, orgasmically enjoyable! I only hope some day I get the chance to find out for myself. So that will be fun, let me know if you'd like to come along, it's a great film, even featured on 20/20 and it's for a great cause.

I'm still enjoying shifts at my new second job. I'll have one this Friday night, overnight. So we'll see how that goes 8-)

So that's just a few things I have going on right now. I'll post about my cat, PJ's health issues in a separate post. He deserves his own spotlight.

Until then, keep me in your prayers and I will pray for you, too!