Thursday, November 20, 2008

35th Birthday Week

Hello all! Well, this week I celebrated my 35th birthday. It was a great day, nice weather in the middle of a week of very cold weather on either side. Everyone is so nice to you when it's your birthday, why can't we treat each other this good when it's not our birthdays??

To be honest, this is a bitter sweet milestone for me. When you are young and have your whole future in front of you, it feels like you could do anything! As you get older, you begin to realize there just isn't enough resources, energy or time off of work to do all the things you want to do in life. The life you end up living is far from the life you dreamed of, more times than not.

This is especially true if you have certain plans and hopes and dreams that require participation from other people outside of yourself. You can't *make* people do what you want or feel what you need them to feel or think that they should. You simply can't *make* these dreams into reality. People will always disappoint you in one way or another. The Lord is the only true rock to depend on. He will never leave nor forsake us. Things, life on the other hand, just doesn't always turn out like you thought it would, leaving you in a state of grief over your losses. There's nothing wrong with this mourning. In fact, I would argue that it's a necessary step in the process. If you don't take the time to mourn those losses and unfulfilled dreams, you will spend years waiting for them to happen when you could have moved on to dream new dreams! But you can't dream new dreams until your old dreams are in the past.

I will never be a young bride. My wedding photos, if I even have any, will all be of me in my mid to late 30's, wrinkles and all.

I will never be a young mom. My dreams of being young and spry with little ones under foot will never come to fruition. I may still have children either from me or by adoption but I will always be atleast 36 years older than them. I will never have the energy of a 20 something woman to keep up with their energetic needs.

I will never fly in outer space.
I will never be a filmmaker in Hollywood.
I will never be a professional photographer.
I will never be a chef.
I will never be a teacher.
I may never be wife or a mother.

So what then? Shall I lay down and sob for the rest of my days? No way!!!!! There are plenty of satisfying things I can do with my days here. This world is not my home anyway. I can get busy for the Lord and seek what He would have me to do. I enjoy so many things, I can do them and find that contentment abounds! The important thing for me to do is have a time of mourning for those old dreams and then move on to dream some new ones! For every 40 something person who wakes up and wonders where their life went and what happened to all the things they didn't do, is a 30 something person waisting their life waiting!

I'm 35. It's time for me to dream new dreams and get to it!

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